Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lo siento on account of my penis...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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