I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
