he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
