Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
