Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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