I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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