Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
