I can't watch pbs sober anymore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."