I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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