So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think i have herpe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.