How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
