I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
