so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
