you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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