I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
