i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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