And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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