im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
