My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
