I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
