come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
