Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
