We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
