i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
