Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
