My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
