Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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