So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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