He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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