so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
