this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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