Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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