and you said cock pushups were impossible
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize