Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
