remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
