remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
