Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your dad touched me again.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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