Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
