I CAN MOONWALK!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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