anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
