I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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