i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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