is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
