Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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