i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
