Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
