I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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