You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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