He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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