dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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