maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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