She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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