is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
