If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
