i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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