it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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