I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
