Do vagina's smell?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize