I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
