white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
