Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have demons in me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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