Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
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I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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