My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
COCAINE IS GR8
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize